So there's this election coming up. You should be aware of it, if not you should pull your head out of the sand and take notice because it's kind of a big deal around here. I've never really agreed with politics and rather than being passionate about a party I typically get passionate about the fact that there are only two real parties. Which infuriates me, because that's exactly what the United States was set up against.
Regardless, I'm not out to change politics (I have bigger fish to fry than a bunch of stuffy old men in suits) so I'll just have to shut my mouth and decide how I'm going to vote.
Now, being gay I am automatically drawn to the more liberal of the candidates in hopes of inciting change in the gay community. I would love to see more gay friendly legislature passed, and if a conservative soul is in office the chances of said documents becoming official are more than halved. But at the same time, I don't like most of the other views that Democrats these days are spewing. I don't want socialized medicine... It works in Canada because Canada is... Well, I don't know. But it works there and while I don't know all the proper terminology, I sincerely don't think it would work well here. Also, I don't agree what they want to do with the war.
My opinion on the war is this: Shit happens.
As for the Republicans... Me, being a business owner, knows that having a Republican in office isn't just good for business, it's GREAT.
Do I sacrifice my desire for change so that my desire for success can be fulfilled? Or do I risk myself financially just so that on the off-chance that gay friendly legislature is written and submitted it has a slightly better chance of being passed?
Decisions decisions.
Also, on top of all of this, I have a date tonight. After a dark dating history, this is my first time trying to get my dyke ass back on the horse. And believe me, this has not been an easy task -- there's a lot of me to move.
It's the second date, and I'm picking her up to bring her down to my town so we can hang out. Yeah, I'm more than a little nervous. I'm probably one of the most unusual lesbians on the face of this planet in the sense that I'm terrified of women. And we're talking petrified. It makes picking up women very very awkward. It usually ends up sounding something like this:
Attractive Girl: "Did you enjoy your meal?"
Me: "Guh... I like food."
Attractive Girl: "Um... You're total comes to 18.23."
Me: "I LIKE FOOD."
Attractive Girl: "...debit or credit?"
Me: "Do you like food? Cause I can pay for food."
Attractive Girl: "Could you leave please?"
It's like I have selective tourettes. Mortifying.
Wish me luck tonight.
~Alisa
Friday, June 13, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
The Cliks Get Repaired
I love these guys, all sorts of lots. If you haven't had the chance to hear some of the most fantastic music on the face of this planet, you should really check them out. I love their MTV interview as well.
"Where did the name 'The Cliks' come from?"
"Well it's a combination of two human body parts. You figure it out."
I love that no one really knew how to respond to that.
Also, some video related humor...
The Question Of Pride
So I was asked a very... interesting question the other day.
In a society (and to be more specific, geographical area) where homosexuality is not just frowned upon, but is also discouraged, discriminated, and even at times persecuted, why am I so flamboyant and open about my gayness?
I was a bit taken aback, and being me, gave them a quick and witty response but the question stuck with me long after the conversation had ended. Why am I so proud to be gay?
I tried to justify it to myself by saying it was because it's so obvious in me that denying it would be futile. But then I realized that denial is the best solution for anything because as long as you deny it, there's nothing anyone else can do about it except for suspect.
I thought maybe it was because I'm trying to meet someone, so the more open I am the more likely a prime target will know of my intentions. But then I discounted that because if you're going to meet someone, you're going to meet someone and whether or not they know you're gay isn't going to change their feelings (if they're going to have any) about you.
Then I thought maybe it was because my 'homo'-ness has always been a source of much mirth and humor for everyone I know. But as we all know, that's not why I'm proud to be gay because sometimes that humor really gets on my nerves.
And then it came to me.
History.
It's about the history. Being an only child adopted to a single mother into a totally fucked up family left something to be hugely desired in my life. Growing up, all of my friends would a couple of weeks a year not be able to hang out with me because they were going on vacation with their family. Family reunions, visiting aunts and uncles, grandma and grandpa are in town, and Christmas, God, Christmas was the worst. I always felt so incredibly alone on Christmas because after opening presents mom would go into her room to sulk about the fact that she doesn't have a family and I would sit in the living room and play with my new toys. I remember one year mom couldn't even make it through all of the presents and went into her room 3/4 of the way through them. Just got up off the couch and shut her door. What would be the point of opening the rest of the presents if no one was there to share the joy? So I put on my coat and grabbed one of the wrapped boxes that were left and went for a walk. It was frigid and there was snow on the ground that crunched beneath my boots like particle board as I passed front window after front window of happy families and festive decorations. Why didn't I have that? Why was I not allowed to have that? That's what I always wondered.
And those damned family history assignments in school. There was always at least one a year of "draw your family tree" or "find an interesting ancestor and do a report". I never could. What would be the point? My family tree is so convoluted and twisted and the worst part is, it doesn't even really belong to me because I'm not blood related to any of these people and the woman that I am blood related to didn't want anything to do with me when I was born and the man I'm blood related to doesn't even know I exist.
You want to talk about a bastard child, I'm a prime example.
So when I realized at such a young age that I was attracted to women, it was like having more than just one piece of myself be filled up. It was like having almost every hole in my entire life filled up.
Suddenly I was a part of something. Suddenly I had a history, a culture, a people. Finally, for once in my life, I had something that I could relate with other people on. "You like your own gender? So do I!"
I realized, when I grew up, I didn't want to be anything but a lesbian. I told my mom I wanted to be an architect, a writer, a singer, an actress, but in the back of my mind, the word "gay" was added to every one of those careers. All my life, I've wanted nothing more than to be gay. That's all.
I may not have ancestors of great descent, grandparents who come to visit, cousins that I keep in touch with, or even parents to be proud of, but I come from a long line of great men and women who have helped change the face of this planet and society as we know it.
And that, in my opinion, is something to be proud of.
Here's to another nineteen years of gay pride.
~Alisa
In a society (and to be more specific, geographical area) where homosexuality is not just frowned upon, but is also discouraged, discriminated, and even at times persecuted, why am I so flamboyant and open about my gayness?
I was a bit taken aback, and being me, gave them a quick and witty response but the question stuck with me long after the conversation had ended. Why am I so proud to be gay?
I tried to justify it to myself by saying it was because it's so obvious in me that denying it would be futile. But then I realized that denial is the best solution for anything because as long as you deny it, there's nothing anyone else can do about it except for suspect.
I thought maybe it was because I'm trying to meet someone, so the more open I am the more likely a prime target will know of my intentions. But then I discounted that because if you're going to meet someone, you're going to meet someone and whether or not they know you're gay isn't going to change their feelings (if they're going to have any) about you.
Then I thought maybe it was because my 'homo'-ness has always been a source of much mirth and humor for everyone I know. But as we all know, that's not why I'm proud to be gay because sometimes that humor really gets on my nerves.
And then it came to me.
History.
It's about the history. Being an only child adopted to a single mother into a totally fucked up family left something to be hugely desired in my life. Growing up, all of my friends would a couple of weeks a year not be able to hang out with me because they were going on vacation with their family. Family reunions, visiting aunts and uncles, grandma and grandpa are in town, and Christmas, God, Christmas was the worst. I always felt so incredibly alone on Christmas because after opening presents mom would go into her room to sulk about the fact that she doesn't have a family and I would sit in the living room and play with my new toys. I remember one year mom couldn't even make it through all of the presents and went into her room 3/4 of the way through them. Just got up off the couch and shut her door. What would be the point of opening the rest of the presents if no one was there to share the joy? So I put on my coat and grabbed one of the wrapped boxes that were left and went for a walk. It was frigid and there was snow on the ground that crunched beneath my boots like particle board as I passed front window after front window of happy families and festive decorations. Why didn't I have that? Why was I not allowed to have that? That's what I always wondered.
And those damned family history assignments in school. There was always at least one a year of "draw your family tree" or "find an interesting ancestor and do a report". I never could. What would be the point? My family tree is so convoluted and twisted and the worst part is, it doesn't even really belong to me because I'm not blood related to any of these people and the woman that I am blood related to didn't want anything to do with me when I was born and the man I'm blood related to doesn't even know I exist.
You want to talk about a bastard child, I'm a prime example.
So when I realized at such a young age that I was attracted to women, it was like having more than just one piece of myself be filled up. It was like having almost every hole in my entire life filled up.
Suddenly I was a part of something. Suddenly I had a history, a culture, a people. Finally, for once in my life, I had something that I could relate with other people on. "You like your own gender? So do I!"
I realized, when I grew up, I didn't want to be anything but a lesbian. I told my mom I wanted to be an architect, a writer, a singer, an actress, but in the back of my mind, the word "gay" was added to every one of those careers. All my life, I've wanted nothing more than to be gay. That's all.
I may not have ancestors of great descent, grandparents who come to visit, cousins that I keep in touch with, or even parents to be proud of, but I come from a long line of great men and women who have helped change the face of this planet and society as we know it.
And that, in my opinion, is something to be proud of.
Here's to another nineteen years of gay pride.
~Alisa
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